For any of you ladies that have ever been through a breakup, you know how devastating it can be emotionally and even physically. It’s common for people to manifest physical pain because they are hurting so bad emotionally. I’ve been there myself, and I experienced physical pain in my chest so bad it felt as if my heart was actually breaking.
Going through a breakup can teach you a lot, and you should get more out of it than “That guy was just a POS!”. Learning the fault you played in the relationship can give you hope for future relationships and give you a sense of closure from this relationship as well, especially if your ex won’t. Now i’m not saying you should paint yourself as the cause of the relationship failure, but it does take two to tango. Learning from the past can definitely help you grow as a woman, and to show you how it can help you grow, I will present you with a summation of my story.
In 2017, I left a 4 year relationship and it was one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do. It’s even taking me longer than usual to write this post because I keep having painful flashbacks from that time. As I push forward to write this though, I know that I am continuing to heal myself, and I hope that you can begin your healing journey by reading this as well. So in 2017 I left. Over the course of our relationship I picked up 40 pounds, worsened my smoking habit, and lost all my self esteem and confidence. I was a wreck. I spent many nights crying and experiencing physical pain. I knew that I needed to get my emotions out, but after months of that I knew that I needed more in order to actually heal myself. I frantically searched the internet “Why do men cheat?”, I needed to know something, anything, to help me get over this pain. After watching a few different kinds of videos I came across this Ted Talk video by a woman named Esther Perel.
Knowledge is power
I watched it over and over again, then I began to watch more of her videos, and then I watched similar videos by other people. Psychologists, therapists, relationship coaches and the like. I was so thirsty for this information, that I devoured every piece of it I could get my hands on for months straight. I became obsessed. Not too long after that, I truly began to heal. I regained hope for future relationships because of the knowledge I received. It gave me a sense of power and control knowing that I can do more than just “hope for the best” in my relationships, but that there are actually things that I can do to make my next one last (nothing is a guarantee, of course). I know I say this all the time but knowledge is power. The more I learned about relationships the quicker my healing progressed. After two years i’ve restored my faith in relationships, healed myself to a certain extent, lost the weight i’d gained, came out of depression, and regained my confidence.
By writing this, I hope that I can inspire another one of my sisters going through turmoil, to take things into her own hands and restore her emotional health and peace as well. I wish great friendships and relationships to all my sisters in 2019, and I hope this post is an introduction on how to make them great and lasting.
And always remember to live your best life sis