Hey there sis! I hope your 2019 is going well so far. We are all out here striving for our new year’s resolutions, and pushing ourselves to achieve more than we did in the previous year. While pushing yourself is important to interpersonal growth, excessively doing so can be detrimental to your mental health, and sometimes even physical. We know that black women are actually less often diagnosed with common mental disorders like depression, but something called Superwoman Syndrome, is affecting us in a big way. Its something thats so ingrained in us that we don’t even realize it’s a disorder, and how its affecting our lives. Well today I’m here to spill the tea on superwoman syndrome and my struggles with it.
What is superwoman Syndrome?
Superwoman Syndrome is essentially what is often expected from black women. It’s when you push yourself forward to achieve so much that you aren’t even concerned with your own self care. The “strong” black woman who can handle anything and puts everyone and everything else before herself. Many of us have attached our very identity to the mental state of being a “superwoman”.
Me & My story
I saw this video on facebook one day that changed my life (see it here). It was about superwoman syndrome, and everything she said fit me so perfectly I was brought to tears. It couldn’t have been more relatable even if she had said my name! I have always made the choice to push for my goals, or go the extra mile for another person over doing something nice for myself. I didn’t even mind having a partner that rarely helped me around the house or with other important things, and even when he did offer I often told him “no that’s okay, I got it.” Little did I know how much this was hurting me. I was miserable, and after awhile began to resent almost everyone in my life, especially my partner who always looked so nice and comfortable watching TV on the couch while I did everything. I wondered why no one ever helped me (even though I turned down the help that I was offered), and why I always had so much on my plate (even though I was often the one piling it on there in the first place).
After watching that video, I vowed to better care of myself, and put myself first (especially when it’s hard to do so). I took small measures while I was still in college like taking baths more often (instead of showers), going to bed on time and starting my yoga and meditation journey. Now that I’m out of college, I’m expanding my self care to encompass a whole weekly routine.
Check out that video sis, and if you feel like they are talking to you, (the same way that I did) then start taking more care of yourself. Self care is different for everyone, for instance, I know woman with children who barely get time to shower! Many of us have family or friends that can help us get more time in to shower, and sometimes a shower is all you need to make you feel better!
I hope that this is helpful for you, and I will have more information coming in my self care routine that can give you more ideas on how to care for yourself a little better, and stop being superwoman all of the time!
And don’t forget to live your best life sis