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Loving your natural hair again; A letter to my sisters | Natural Hair

Loving your natural hair again; A letter to my sisters | Natural Hair

Hey sis, I hope your 2019 is blossoming into everything that you thought it would be, and i’m hoping and praying that you are on the brightest path to your goals. If you’re a natural like me you probably started of your journey with some pretty lofty hair goals. The day I decided to go natural I told myself that I wanted to have waist length hair. Little did I know my journey would be full of twists, turns, highs, and lows. I’m coming into my 6th year as a natural, and I will just say that it hasn’t been everything that it seemed it would be, for me, it has been so much more than that

Hating my hair

Around my third year of being natural, I started to hate my hair. Not only was it not as long as I thought it would be by then, but it was also requiring increasingly more of my time. Wash day was truly a full day at this point, and the lust I had for waist length hair had long faded. I had even considered going back to the creamy crack like I saw so many other natural hair youtubers and bloggers doing. I truly hated my hair at this point, and all I could think of was how much I wanted something different. Tired of the wash days, long labor hours and little results I had to show for it, I started turning to wigs as an easy alternative. I loved the fact that I could just throw it on and go, without the hours of labor that it took to make my natural hair look nice, but something was missing. You might be wondering what that missing thing is, well i’ll tell you. It was pride. My wigs were beautiful, and I looked beautiful in them, and I’ve never felt ashamed to wear them( I still wear them from time to time), but when I rocked my natural hair I just felt good. Even though I didn’t consider my hair to be “long” at this point, where ever I rocked my natural curls, I felt a sense of pride and confidence that I just couldn’t get anywhere else, and that is when my journey back began.

Learning to love my hair again

About 2 years ago, I started making more time for my natural hair. I  was still wearing wigs as a style for the most part, but I started taking better care of my hair underneath them. I had a plan that I wanted to be able to always have my hair done. I started wearing small braids in my hair, they were relatively flat and could easily fit underneath a wig, when I needed them too, but most days I could just wear them as is, up in a ponytail. And when I was in a jam, I could take all the braids down and have a cute (and frizzy) braidout. It was a good plan and worked for a while, but I grew tired of having to constantly rebraid my hair. Back to square one again, and with the summer upon me I decided to learn how to do the perfect wash and go. I had a great summer with my wash n gos, but that quickly fizzled out as well. I wasnt really searching for something new at the time, but a video popped up on my youtube feed. Some white girl talking about how she grew her hair. I knew it wasn’t really for me, but I loved a lot of her other (non-hair) videos and thought well let’s see what she says. Her routine seems so easy and carefree, that jealousy began to set in as I thought to myself. “Why couldn’t my routine be so easy like hers?”. I put our differences in skin color, hair texture, and hair type aside and decided i’m going to give her routine a shot. It was simple enough, Just  wash, condition, and throw your hair in two braids. Then when you wanted to, take the two braids down and have a cute wavy look. I thought “even if it doesn’t look like hers, how bad could it be?”.

The problem, and the solution

I was shocked. Her routine worked! (a few minor product adjustments of course) but it worked just fine. At that point in time I realized that it wasn’t my hair I hated back then, it was that damn routine! All of the little steps that I never scrutinized if I actually needed, each step adding time that I wasn’t willing to spend. I started doing my hair every week again, and sometimes more often if need be. I got rid of “wash day” and just did my hair whenever it wasnt looking how I wanted it to. My whole routine became an hour ( styling included) and the best part? I could still wear my wigs over my braids. I cut out sectioning all together and have not pre-pooed in a long time. I totally revamped my routine, and while I still think that my hair has to be done more than i’d like to do it, my routine is so simple that I can easily get myself to do it without feeling overwhelmed. After 6 years natural, I finally feel like I figured it out, and not only is my hair flourishing, but i’m falling in love with it all over again.

Lessons and takeaways (Major Key!)

If you’re anything like me, which you just might be, don’t let your lack of love for your curls turn you away from being natural. Scrutinize the routines you see youtubers doing and ask yourself, “do I really need all of those steps?”. The answer could surprise you. Eliminating all of those unnecessary steps can help you fall back in love with your hair by getting rid of the overwhelmingness of it all. Develop a simple, easy, and straightforward routine for yourself and see how the love you once had, back when you were a new natural, comes rushing back. I hope that my story helps you not only develop your routine, but also make you feel like you’re not alone in your journey as well.

Let’s all flourish together and make 2019 a truly nappy new year

And don’t forget to live your best life, and let your hair do the same



Nikki Brame
Health and Wellness Contributor

Nikki is a natural hair blogger and youtuber , also known by the handle @ChicNaturlNikki, has been in the game over five years now. She loves journies to find her best self and has enjoyed sharing her these journeys and practices with you along the way.

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