Have you ever met someone who who was emotionally unstable? Have you ever been that person? Lets face it, we are human and no human should ever be expected to hold it together at all times. There are times in life where you need to get your emotions out, maybe you’re under pressure in your career, or your school life and you feel like you’re at a boiling point. On the other hand everyday could feel like a boiling point for you, and thats not good either. Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. When you read that definition it almost makes you stop and wonder “what does that look like?”.
Well emotional intelligence looks different for everyone, but noticing whether you have it or not is the first step to developing it. And although we aren’t specifically going to talk about developing it today we will talk about what it looks like and why developing yours is important. Here is a scenario that you all may have experienced:
You come home from work and your husband is already home sitting on the couch watching tv. You are visibly tired, but before you can even take your jacket off he’s asking you “whats for dinner?”. You make your way into the kitchen and realize the trash is overflowing from 2 days ago when you asked him to take it out the first time.
For some of your reading this, this is an everyday situation, but let’s not focus on how you you say you would handle it. Pay attention to the thoughts in your head as your read it. When you read through this scenario you can feel the emotions almost as if you were there, or as if it was happening to you right now. Those thoughts that run through your head are your true feelings, your emotions. Tiredness, frustration, and hunger all swirling around in your head at the same time, so what will you do? Do you go off? Do you say nothing? I hope not, both of those are the wrong answer.
The write answer is a hybrid, somewhere in between the two where you express yourself but are empathetic about it. You want to make yourself heard but do it judiciously or with good judgement. Taking a second to notice your emotions and express them empathetically can lead to a better marriage ( or a marriage in the first place if you’re single like me), better friendships, and better family relationships as well. Most importantly, your needs and wants are being met as well keeping you happy (which is the number one goal here, but don’t tell your man that sis.) I’ll be doing a series on this, going through my story over the last few years while in this journey myself, and share all the things i’ve learned and how I improved my life so far. When we are training our bodies, we have to also train the mind spirit and soul to be healthy as well. We are making our emotional health a priority all 2019!
Live your healthiest life sis!